Effective Parenting for Teens

Set these permanent life-saving driving safety rules:

• The driver and all passengers must be restrained on every trip.
• Adults and teens must use seat belts; children, in child safety seats or booster seats in the rear.
• No use of cell phones or other electronic devices while driving.
• Provide alternatives to cell phone use or texting while driving. Complete calls before the car is in gear, get directions in advance, check for missed calls and let loved ones know you’re safe only upon arrival, pull over for urgent calls.
• Follow all driving laws, including no speeding.
• No impaired driving (drugged, drowsy, or drunk) or riding as a passenger with an impaired driver. Provide alternative ways to get home.
• No riding as a passenger with an unlicensed or inexperienced teen driver. Provide alternative ways to get home.

Set these temporary life-saving limits while your teen gains experience:

• No peer passengers
  • Start: Only adult passengers
  • Gradual increase after first six months: siblings only if they are appropriately restrained and sit in the rear
• No nighttime driving
  • Start: Only in daylight
  • Gradually increase the driving curfew after you have practiced with your teen, obeying your state’s maximum limit. Offer to provide rides.
• No high-speed roads
  • Start: Only on low volume, low speed, familiar roads
  • Gradually increase the allowed road types after you have practiced with your teen
• No driving in bad weather
  • Start: Only in ideal driving conditions
  • Gradually increase driving in poor weather conditions after you have practiced with your teen
• Restricted access to keys
  • Start: Teen needs to ask for the keys (even for his own vehicle)
  • Gradually increase independent access to keys after first six months as the teen demonstrates responsibility

It’s about safety, not control. Make sure teens understand these rules exist because we care about them and about their safety. As their skills develop and they demonstrate responsibility, introduce new privileges.

Monitoring is about more than asking and watching. It’s important to know the rules are being followed. But it’s impossible to watch your teen’s every move and just asking for information doesn’t guarantee the full truth. Research into parental knowledge reveals that teenagers’ decision to share information is key to whether parents really know what is going on. Teens are more likely to share information with authoritative parents. The bottom line is that when they understand the issue relates to safety (not adults’ desire to be in their business), they are more likely to be truthful.